Friday, March 18, 2011

Update on Quitting

Well, folks.  It hasn’t been going well.  I’m a slave to sweets.  I was going solid on my “no sweets for a month” quest for almost an entire week and then I hit a wall.  A wall made of sugar.  And I ate it.  I thought maybe if I just let myself have one cheat day every week, I could endure.  This is craziness, of course, but when you’re a slave to a substance, you aren’t capable of thinking clearly about it.  You tend to rationalize.  A lot.  I was just sorry I’d made this “no sweets” proclamation public.  I thought I’d learned my lesson in that area.  Apparently not.

Anyway, I’ve fallen off the wagon.  Hard.  And have about one pinky toe still on it.  For a good two weeks I stayed away from soda completely, which is definitely my biggest sweet vice.  But then I thought I’d give myself a cheat day.  Ha!  Seriously, it’s become apparent to me that cheat days are the gateway drug.  They don’t help you endure.  They help you fall flat on your face.

Did you know that you can screw your body up so much by feeding it so much sugar on a regular basis that when you stop the sugar rush it will protest by squeezing your brain until it hurts like caffeine withdrawal?!  I didn’t!!  But NOW I do!  I’d always associated those headaches with quitting caffeine.  Now I know it’s not just caffeine that my body craves.  Plain ‘ole sugar will do.

So I’m still working on the whole discipline thing.  I used to be able to go months at a time without something (aka Lent and the times I gave up chocolate, then ice cream, then sugar).  But I guess when I hit 30 my body decided it can no longer do without.  It just retains.  And screams and screeches until I give in.  Since going cold turkey doesn’t work for me now, I guess I’ll have to learn moderation?  This learning stuff is hard.

But a BIG, FAT “THANK YOU” to those of you out there that have been encouraging me along the way!!!!!  I am so honored that you take the time to read my silly words and respond!!  And a little dismayed when I disappoint you.


  1. hey christian cari,
    while i like this post, i feel like you are being too hard on yourself. i also think you are forgetting the most important part of lent, and that is you are aloud to break fast on Sundays. while people might think that is cheating or "weaker" than the one who never breaks the fast (i would point them to Alfred Molina's character in Chocolat for a lesson on piety). but breaking your fast on Sunday is to celebrate the day we were freed, the day we dont need to fast because we have been giving everything. food for thought.

  2. Good for you, putting it all out there. I'm interested, keep posting!